Dreams- A forever quest

In the sublime serenity
of deep blue sea
silence is intense
and inherent with 
continuous scrutiny
Grueling to recon
for purpose to seek

Always at verge of
daunted by dreams
tormented by battles
with bewildered screams

No wonder how haggard
or lost we feel
We continue to serve
our lives,
for what heart weeps.
Valiant to strife
in inclination
and breathe.

@ssamwriter




 


Beauty in Scars

Part 5- Kiss of love


It’s been 3 months that numbers were shared.
Both of them didn’t had courage to say anything,
until she realized it’s his birthday tomorrow.
Even after being ragged from lectures,
she stayed awake just to wish him.
When it was almost 11:55pm,she played his favorite song
from Father’s phone and called him.
His eyes bulged out with astonishment to see
her name appearing on the screen.
They just listened to the music
together.
He just said that one day I will come to you and time will be in favor.
Her heart throbbed faster with those words in pleasure.

——
She was disrupted from memories again with his call.
They were meeting after a year when they completed studies.
He said, I reached nearby your home,please explain the
route as It seems I am lost. She immediately send location
over phone,and explained which route will be faster.
He reached finally. Her Parents were at home,watching Television.
She ran from her room to open the gate.
Her parents were shocked as to why she ran away like this.
They got up ,came outside to see they were hugging each other.

Parents eyes were in tears as they noticed she wasn’t herself
ever since they left the city.

When they saw each others eyes after a long hug,
Even he was reminded of their first meeting at school.
Those scars are now appealing to which he kissed.

“For they didn’t know what love is meant to be,
It just lives within us seeking for a window,
Doesn’t fade with time,it dwells in our mind
capturing the moments,
comforting like pleasant campsite in a meadow.
How would you explain this beauty in scars?
Love comes in streams
and flourish in darkest hours
Like goodness of sunshine
touching the crudeness of skin
or treasure of heart..




———————————–The End——————————————–

@ssamwriter

Beauty in scars

Part 4- Beginning of second friendship

A message popped,”I’m in cab will reach within an hour”
She was becoming anxious even more .
What is the breathlessness about?

Reminded of how,he’s weakness of heart and strength of her mind.
She ,couldn’t ever let her guard down.
After all he’s the only friend she got.
The comfort he build in her with his presence was enough
to get through the barricade of her life.
Those buried thoughts of his efforts in school days where relived.

They met after 3 years,in a college fest,in her city.Where students from several colleges participated to showcase their art and photography. She was proficient in painting and he in wildlife photography. As she entered the gallery she found the affinity in the pictures and looked around in ambiguity as if to find answers in that creativity, until she saw his name in bold letters along with his vivid features on the dashboard that she felt the creeps and excused herself from the place to breathe,fastening her steps to moisten her lips and throat.

The assumptions of him being committed to someone else till now was
grumbling her heart .She saw him with his friends near college
canteen.As their eyes met he stood up and looked at her so earnestly as if she was someone lost and found in the crowd.
She had good friends in college,who accompanied
her in every aspects of curriculum. But the bond shared with him,
left her empty.
She was standing still, trying to grasp his presence,he was already in front of her.
Before he could say,his friends came out and asked to come along while they were about to leave as they had to prep for tomorrow.They shared dampened eyes and he left,struggling to utter anything.

He came early the next day to see her paintings. She always use to blend colors so exquisitely that it use to fill his reflection with imagery of sublime world.
Touching those elegant strokes,he was filled with rush of affection. As if it
was healing the prolonged misery of deficient days spent without her.

While they had an exciting yet tedious event. They could finally meet the
last day of the fest. Without a second delay he blurted out all at once,
I know, I lost my friendship with you. But I would never forget you.
Your happiness would always matter. He just asked for her number
which she gave without a question,and then again continued.
I’m leaving back home in 2 hours, just be fine.
With that he disappeared looking at her with yearning heart.

To be continued..

@ssamwriter



Beauty in Scars

Part 2- Bitter-Sweet truths (Cont.)

Even if the friendship was blossoming,
he didn’t know how to protect her from
scorn behavior of other kids towards her scars.
He use to feel ashamed of not being
able to stand up to them,
As they grew,the bond between them flourished
at it’s peak.
With the days passing by and conflicting
situations being dealt together,they found
embodiment of affection.

He learnt,how to be there for her.
He knows her silences,her laughter
and even her lies when she pretends
to be ok.
She never conveyed the palace of emotions that were constructed ,as they might cripple the friendship.
After hailing several years of friendship,She could see the glittering eyes of his when they met,but literally forced herself to not believe that the shine was because of her.
How could she ever know that he would gravitate towards her ,after being victim of cruelty
imposed by the world.

—–
Part 3 – Unspoken goodbyes

There comes a day when it was last day at school.
She didn’t speak a single word during farewell.
He was busy clicking pictures with school mates.
She just saw him once with dampened eyes and left the school premises.
Without saying goodbyes to his mates
He left the farewell party as well.
Just to check if she was ok.
That look in her eyes left him flustered.
As he reached her place,she felt weak and exhausted.
With red puffy eyes she ran towards him and just stopped as
she heard the voice of her father,who was already near the entrance ,greeted him with tenderness as usual, and said in deep voice of sadness,
We have to leave this place tomorrow,I need to be at client’s location for another project.
We didn’t wanted to go because we know you are the only gem of a friend
she could connect to,but we need to go as the business is in jeopardy and this is the only
probability to fix it.

He felt like,his soul left the body.
He didn’t had words to express the brokenness, as he felt the same
like her.He just left with an excuse,controlling the waves of feeling forsaken ,as she never left his sight before.He didn’t had courage to see her drifting away.
She kept waiting for him at the airport
and left.

To be continued..

@ssamwriter






Beauty in Scars


Part 2- Bitter-sweet truths

Principal called her parents and they took her home.
It wasn’t the first time,she was demented several times earlier.
Her parents didn’t know
how to convince her to go to
school again.
She was inflicted by the incident,which
made her feel shattered.
Her father decided to take care of it,
by inviting his friend’s family over for dinner.
They are empathizing and aware of the kid’s predicament.
As the father was close to them since their college days,and realized his daughter needs to be acknowledged and have friends too.
This little get together will be a good impact
on her,also his friend’s kid is well known for his good grades and smartness.
He himself was excited,to meet his
friend after several years.It’s a good opportunity to
relive those golden memories when they are in same
city for now.

As the family arrived for dinner,she was shocked.
It was the same kid from whom she ran away.
Both the kids didn’t look at each other and seemed awkward
in front of their parents.
While Parents were talking and laughing,sharing their
stories of the past. These two remained silent like good kids.
Even the invited family was surprised to see their son so quiet.
——-
She came back to reality as it started raining and ran
inside, closing the door of balcony.
Her parents also came back after walk.
She could always feel the look of despair on mother’s face,which she tries to hide but
fails. As her mom thinks it’s her fault ,she didn’t look after her when this awful incident happened. It’s been 25 years,with this advancement of medicine,they still couldn’t find
anything that could make those scars just disappear.

She received message from him again,
which give her chills every time and she starts shivering.
“I have reached airport.
It’s raining, will be arriving late. “
She couldn’t think much about it.
As they were talking less ever since she left the city because of
her college studies.She was confused ,why he wants to meet
her now. She has some mixed experiences with him.
She knows how it feels to be with him and wanting to be together as long as possible.
——
As she sinks into the music of rain and stare at his picture on phone,
She again went to flashbacks of after dinner..
She doesn’t remember vividly but can’t forget,how she was controlling tears,
which he saw and felt the regret. But too young to comprehend it.
So he just smiled hesitantly at her ,as if trying to make it up to her and apologize,but
looked down again,wondering what to say.
It was the first time,he was experiencing this moment of sadness.
Unable to stop his heart from trembling,feeling weakness in bones,just to sit in front of her.
What was this?
Meanwhile parents are fully oblivious of the situation and bustling over dinner.

As the dinner was over, her parents insisted them to stay
overnight as it was already late. They agreed as they had to travel
far and it was weekend,their son slept off on the couch already.

When the families woke up,next morning,they had breakfast together.
He was feeling well rested. He realized that her parents gives as much time to her
as they can. He could sense the warmth of bond within her family which was somewhat missing in his life. He felt too comfortable that he himself,
initiated the conversation with her,saying I.. liked your
bicycle, it fits as per my height,Can I ride it. I don’t have one.
Little did she know that it was the beginning of her first friendship.

To be continued..


@ssamwriter





Beauty in scars

Part 1- The memory lane

Outside the window,
she saw misty morning, with dense clouds
making her mind heavy. Like being
bombarded with humdrum disparities.
She closed the drapes,with discontentment.
Her Parents went for early morning walk.
Went to kitchen,prepped a steaming hot
cup of coffee along with some chocolate
chip cookies and toasts.
It’s already 9 am,why is it still dark. Saturday
seems mournful. Why did I got up so early?
Disgusted by the thought,She went towards
balcony and sat on her favorite egg chair
hammock.
She couldn’t sleep yesterday because of the
fact that he called,saying I am coming to the city
to meet you..
With each sip of coffee soothing the
weariness,and the soulful music coming
from neighbors room,she was hit by
deja vu. The smell of mud floating along
with the wind ,she felt some cognizance in the
weather. With neighbors 6yr old kid’s laughter
her mind was tickled.
The flashbacks of her childhood was
creating cascade of memories.
It was her first day at school.
Her family had recently changed the city.
They mostly keep traveling across due to father’s business.
As he’s construction manager.
She giggled thinking,as to how she cried and won’t let go
of her fathers hand. Teacher guided her to the class of second grade.
Where she was directed towards front seat,
to sit along with a rank holder.
He didn’t acknowledge her cordially. The scar on her face
made him feel appalled. She felt embarrassed,
She couldn’t contemplate about it ,being
a toddler,it was given to her by horrifying flames at her house due to
short circuit. She doesn’t have detailed memories of it.
But whole society sees her with negligence ,
her mom tried to explain the differences as to why
kids don’t play along with her, in obscurity and lies.
What she could explain to this delicate soul.
She cried and ran away from the class.

To be continued…


@ssamwriter





Being an Outcast

Why am I lost in the crowd?
But find myself when left alone.
This chaotic beauty is frightening,
But the screams of solitude appealing.
Am I drifting away from reality?
But still feels the depth of actuality.

Oh I’m not trying to escape this stream
but I want to live more and worship my dreams.
You don’t understand the misery of being me
Because I see people through their eyes,
But nobody gets it when I explain my cries.
You question my silences and stay withheld from me
But I keep finding comfort when you’re beside me.

If all one need is language to speak,
But still not contented and  more you seek.
How am I accepting as they are?
But all they felt is disconnected
You found your solace when I’m around
But couldn’t resist the awkwardness
of silences with me.

I never made sense
but you felt free
I saw your heart
you were afraid of me
How could I see your soul?
you were falling for me

When all is said and done,
I’ll always be the one.
who’ll know you better
because I feel your pain like
nobody else
When all of them ignores you
I listen,
Because that’s how my silences speaks to you.


@ssamwriter

The falling star

The unseen splendor
of a defeated heart
screaming from within
but clowned to laugh

Burning itself to
show the light
marvel of hope
giving armor of knight

Act of courage
for the love we endorse
wounded by blaze
yet obliged by it’s course

Longing for dreams
from a shooting star
instead of ones which is
flickering afar

Reminded of beauty
in being broken
for sometimes good
things fall apart
with silent explosion

So don’t you let
quiver this crown
of ardor
fall with grace
rise from flames

@ssamwriter

Euphoric days of love

Love of old times

Bring me back
the love of times
when we looked into
the eyes and felt
the unspoken words

The wistful heart
brimmed with lessons of
stars above
Inked and sealed
with destination of lover

Books were golden
kept as epitome
of passion
sharing stories of kings and
queen like we are its abstraction

When we kissed the
soul,instead of skin
so engaged like trembling
waves
breathless from within

Like moon who never betrays
the ocean
its tears
covering the mileage
falling into deep waters
like pearls of credence

When flowers were plucked
fresh from the garden
and left at front door
when we embraced our flaws
and spilled the heat wanting
for more

Bring me back
the love of times
When we carried the tales
of our laughter and mementos
from the heart
till epitaph.

@ssamwriter








Healing-A transcendental Passage

Healing from divine colors of nature

My love
You breathe through the pain
and deal with bleeding heart
Hiding beneath your bones
those scars of fearsome wrath

Harvesting grisly thorns
of defeat
causing the
prestige vessel to be breached
cluttering it with stones
forbidding to feel.

Oh Dear!!
With time passing by
you’re falling with
thickness of grief
clouding the pathway
to hope and relief

So muster up like valor
break the shackles of your nerves
hindering the strides of reconciliation
shatter into pieces until it
expel the wretchedness

Revive from the scrap
one step at a time
like the seeds beneath the surface
flourish into fresh flowers
with happiness inclined

@ssamwriter







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